How to Write with a Newborn

So, I've acquired quite a few new talents during my social media hiatus.  I've learned things like how to carry 9+ pounds of squirming mass around like it aint no thing and how to change a diaper on a fallen log.

But now I'm trying to get back into writing, and I've got a few ideas on how to do it.  I thought I'd share with the rest of the world, in case I'm deluding myself missing anything. Let me know what you think!

  1. Write in Sprints: You don't have time to spellcheck! You don't have time to revise! Oh, she's making that choking noise while she sleeps again; you'd better go check on her now.
  2. Learn to Type While Feeding: Your knee can support her head, right?
  3. Okay, Okay, Plot in Your Head While Feeding: You'll totally have time to bond after your first book tour.
  4. Use Your Dialogue as a Lullaby: What's better than reading your prose aloud? Singing it, obviously.
  5. Use Baby's Cuteness to Snag Cool Research Interviews: Airforce pilots and drug dealers can't resist babies either.  Just make sure they've had their TDAP shot.
  6. Outlining is Your Best Friend: It's kinda like writing. You can tackle the prose as soon as that snotty daycare gets back to you.
  7. Use Dreams as Inspiration: They're a lot easier to remember when constantly interrupted!
  8. Get Help from the Grandparents: Your newborn isn't really going to pick up their insane political views or weird superstitions.  Once you're a bestselling author, you can take over raising your own child again.
  9. Get Help from Spouse: Only one of you can have time for creative aspirations.  So, really, which one of you has more talent?
  10. De-prioritize Social Media: Your novel comes first.  Do not open Twitter! Do not open Facebook! Stop reading this blog now!  Oh, eff it.  Writers need community.
PS: Wrote this whole blog post during one nap! Now to celebrate with some coffee...ah, crap she's crying. :)